By, Allison "Potty" McKenzie (a.k.a. M.F. Luder)

E-mail: [email protected]

PG

MSR

I’m not sure where this goes. Pre-show, maybe? Who knows (wink)

Ok, you know the Drill. I don’t own Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Samantha Mulder, Maggie Scully, Missy Scully, Walter Skinner, or Tina (Teena?) Mulder. They belong to FOX, 1013, and Chris Carter. (Congrats on the Golden Globe nominations! AND THE TV GUIDE AWARDS!) Monica Crys does belong to me though.

Let’s hear it for me people. I wrote another shitty story. Well, it may not be shit to you people but I personally think I stink as a writer. Many people write me and say they love my work but every time I read my stuff I think it’s shit. I really do, but if I didn’t write I would go mad. So I will write more and maybe I’ll write a really good story about people other then Mulder and Scully. Considering that Gillian Anderson says she doesn’t plan to act in the X-Files after her contract is up in 2000(Allison screams bloody murder), which means she won’t be in the second movie (if there is one). Enjoy.

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March 5^th

St. Paul’s Memorial Hospital

The short red headed woman jogged down the tiny white washed hallway of the ICU floor, her heals clicked in rapid succession as her trench coat trailed out behind her. Her chin length hair bounced every step she took and her green eyes held the slightest hint of fear, to people who knew her, but to most others it was a grim determination.

"I’m looking for Fox Mulder." She breathed as she stopped at the nurse’s station. A fat black woman looked up at Scully then down at the desk.

"Are you related?" the black woman asked. The red head reached in her pocket and pulled out her badge. She then unfolded in and held it up for the woman to see.

"Special Agent Dana Scully. I’m his partner." Scully said and the woman looked up, brown eyes going wide for a brief second. The woman looked down at a chart and flipped through it.

"Down that hall." She said pointing to a hall on her left. "Room 8."

Scully nodded her thanks and quickly strode down the hall. She found Mulder’s chart in a small holder next the door outside his room. She pulled it out and quickly skimmed through it. Her medical mind processed the information she was reading and gave her the basics of the information. She blinked several times and a few deep breaths.

She moved to the window that looked into his room and watched him sleep. He had received a black eye somewhere along his adventure and the skin around his eye was just beginning with the yellowish color. He had a stitch holder just above one black eyebrow. His dark brown hair was messy and was strewn about on his pillow. His skin was a stark white and in some places it looked as if the white sheets on his bed had melted with his skin. His chest was bare so that the nurses could change the bandages on his chest without having to move him to remove a gown. He had a cut that ran from his cheek across to his lip and it had just begun to scab over.

She looked back down at the chart in her hands and then back to her dying friend. She placed his chart back in its holder and pulled out her cellphone. She dialed the familiar number of Monica Crys and moved back to the window.

"Monica." Scully watched Mulders chest rise and fall in rhythmic fashion. "Hello? Look this is an FBI cell phone and if you don’t say something I’m going to have this call traced and then I’m going to track your ass down."

"Mon?" Scully’s voice was tight. She cleared her throat and tried to gain some control over he emotions. "Monica it’s me."

"Hey Dana. Whats up?" Monica’s voice held concern.

"I’m down at St. Peter’s hospital. Mulder’s been hurt and he’s in the ICU." Monica took a sharp breath. "I’m…He’s…"

"I’m on my way."

"Mon?" Scully voice was a little shaky and she cleared her throat.

"Yep?"

"Call my mom? Tell her what’s going on and ask her to call Tina?" Scully’s eye’s flicked over Mulder’s dying body and she took a shaky breath, "Tell her he doesn’t have much time."

"Alright. I’ll be there as soon as possible." Dana hung up her phone and entered Mulder’s room. He looked so helpless lying there in bed and she smiled at what he would say if he’d been awake. He would insist on checking out unless she told him to relax.

There was a gray chair placed near his bed and she moved towards it. She shrugged out of her trench coat and draped it over the back of the chair. She sat on the edge of the bed and starred down at him. His cheeks had the growth of a 2-day-old beard, indicating that he had been there for a while. She reached forward with a slim hand and traced the cuts on his face with a slim finger. She then reached up and straightened his messy hair so that it lay flat on his head. She let her left hand slide down the side of his face, over the stubble and down his neck to rest on his chest near his heart.

Her other hand slipped to the gold cross around her neck and her eyes drifted closed. She sighed and lifted a prayer to heaven, hoping against hope that she had been wrong about how this adventure was going to turn out.

Mulder felt the heat on his chest and immediately thought it was blood from when he’d been shot. He tried to lift a hand and it felt so heavy, he then tried other limbs but they proved to be too heavy to move as well. Now he was worried, he tried to yell for help but he couldn’t make his voice work. He struggled to open his eyes, he felt as it he was in a liquid of some kind, he knew that he must have a concussion and that’s why everything felt so heavy. If he could just get his eyes open…

The light was almost unbearable and he had to shut his eyes again. Slowly he moved them open and slowly they adjusted to the light in the room. Someone was sitting next to him, someone with a red floating head and blue legs. As the person became clearer he realized that the person had a white shirt, blue jeans, and was holding something around their neck. After a minute he could see who was sitting next to him, it was his guardian angel, Dana Scully.

He smiled at the sight of her but frowned after a moment when he realized that she was very upset about something. She was chewing on her lower lip, her nose was red and tears were running down her cheeks. She was crying…but why? He reached up to touch her face but pain instantly shot up his arm and through his body. He took a sharp breath and closed his eyes from the pain.

Dana’s eyes shot open. Had she really heard Mulder take a sharp breath or was she just imagining it? She reached forward and touched his cheek, "Mulder?"

"Hmm?" he said opening his eyes. He saw the raw emotion bubbling to the surface of Scully’s eyes as his eyes locked with hers. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she sighed. He tore his gaze away from her and looked around the room. "Where am I?"

"You’re in the ICU of St. Peter’s Mulder. You were shot several times and left to die in an ally. A garbage man found you and called the police. They rushed you here. They called me this about an hour ago and I rushed here. Skinner was very upset that Kersh had lost his most valuable agent and Monica panicked for three days straight thinking you were dead, she’s going to have fun chewing you out." Scully smiled slightly at the though but after a second her face fell and she look away. Mulder’s forehead creased with worry, thinking something had happened to Scully, he ignored the pain and reached for her hand.

"Scully? Whats wrong?" She took a slightly shaky breath.

"You’d lost a lot of blood. And you’d been out in the ally for quite a while. And you’d been shot three times. You shouldn’t have gone out alone Mulder, if I’d been there…"she said quietly. Mulder squeezed her hand.

"When can I go back to work?" Mulder said, trying to change the subject. A coughing fit seized him and Scully grabbed a tissue and held it to his mouth. When he leaned back, exhausted from coughing, she noticed that the tissue was red. On closer inspection she realized it was blood. She threw the tissue in the trash and turned back to Mulder. He looked at her and said, "You never answered my question."

"You can’t Mulder." She said quietly and he starred at her. "That’s what I was trying to tell you."

She lowered her eyes to her hands and played with the bed sheet. They sat in silence for a moment, neither one knowing what to say. After a few minutes Mulder started feeling weaker then before. He opened his mouth but no sound came out so he cleared his throat to try again. The sound made Dana look up.

Mulder’s condition had changed drastically. His skin had begun to take on a yellow color and she couldn’t pin point the exact spot, but she was sure he had a deathly green to him. His eyes had become a dull brown, the lively spark fading slowly. "Mulder?"

"Dana. I need you to do something for me." Mulder’s voice was low and serious. Scully didn’t want to hear that he was giving up, she didn’t want to say goodbye. "I want you to tell my mother I loved her and when you find Sam I want you to tell her that I’m sorry."

"No. Mulder you can tell her yourself. You’re going to have to tell her yourself because I won’t do it." She took his hand in hers and held it close to her lips.

"Promise me Dana." Scully shook her head like a little girl.

"You can do it when you help me find her." Mulder pulled her hand down to his lips and kissed it. "No, Mulder. Please." She whispered as tears sprang to her eyes, he gave her one of his cocky smiles and she felt herself break down. "I’m not letting you go."

"Neither am I." He said and closed his eyes. Machines around them began to scream and yell but Dana didn’t hear them.

"Oh God, please. No. Mulder…open your eyes. You can’t leave me like this, I won’t let you. Fox…" Nurse’s rushed in with a doctor and they pushed her back from him. Everything had slowed down, and nothing made a sound. Monica appeared in the doorway and raced over to Dana. Monica enveloped Scully in a hug and whispered comforting words in her ear. Eventually Monica had dragged Dana out into the hall and down a ways from the door when Dana collapsed.

An older woman with gray hair turned the corner just in time to watch her daughter fall to the floor and instantly she knew Fox was gone. Maggie, the older woman, slowly walked down the hallway to her baby and when Dana saw her she stood and let her mother hold her. Dana stood there with her mother for a few minutes before realizing that Monica had moved away. When Dana turned to see where she’d gone she saw the she was standing in front of Mulder’s ICU room.

"Monica." Maggie said and the tall woman turned away from the door. Her black hair intensified the hurt in her deep crystal eyes. Maggie opened her arms and Monica walked towards her and let herself become enveloped in the hug.

============

1 week later

Chilmark, Mass.

St. Katherine’s graveyard

It was the perfect day for a funeral. The cloud’s where dark and heavy, showing promises that rain was to come. The air was calm, nothing stirred and it was almost as if the world itself was praying for the safety of Fox Mulder’s lost soul. Dana Scully hadn’t slept at all the night before, she’d lain awake wondering of what had been and what might have been between her and Fox. Wishing for a second chance and knowing it wouldn’t come

It was odd that so many things seemed harder for her when he wasn’t there to bother or ask her questions about aliens. And it amazed her how everything she did or watched or smelled reminded her of something she’d done with Fox or about the man himself.

They’re had been few to turn out for the wake, only a few old friends from high school that had been near by and his family. Which consisted of Tina Mulder, Byers, Langly, Frohike, Skinner and herself, Maggie, he mother. Dana’s heart had gone out to the mysterious woman known as Tina Mulder. The poor woman had the gray hair that made most people look older and smarter, but it made Tina look old, hard, and world wiry. And now as she looked out from under soaked hair she saw a woman that forged on when she’d lost everything but she felt a deep anger towards the woman, for treating the man she had loved so horribly.

Everyone had moved under the protection of the tent and umbrellas as the rain began to fall, except her. She stood alone, listening to the father’s words and feeling utterly alone. The rain pelted her body with amazing force but she was glad she hadn’t taken shelter. She welcomed the pain, to counteract the numb feeling that had occupied her body since Fox had died.

As they lowered the coffin, Dana had the urge to tell them to stop and open the coffin. To yell, "It’s not him! He’s just pretending again!" But she knew that this time he wasn’t coming back and that’s what hurt the most.

"Agent Scully?" Byers, a short brown haired, brown-eyed gentleman, appeared at her side and she tore her eyes away from the lowering coffin to look at him. Frohike and Langly stood a few feet away, watching the grave.

"Call me Scully, Byers. You guys know my as well as Mulder does, why keep up the formalities?" There was something in his eyes. Something he wasn’t telling her. "Byers…What do you know?"

"A few days before Agent Mulder’s demise he gave us his lap top to back up his files and keep them somewhere safe." He glanced over his shoulder at the other two that made up the lone Gunmen, Frohike; a short balding man and Langly, a long haired, paranoid, glass wearing hippie.

"What are you trying to tell me Byers?" She asked.

"Do you want his laptop?"

Dana turned her head to watched the men begin to fill in the grave. She closed her eyes, and took a step towards it. She tossed the rose she held in her hands on his grave and turned back to Byers. "Where is it?"

Byers motioned to his friends and Frohike approached her, a bag in his hand. Her handed it to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked at the man, surprised by the touch. "Dana. If you need someone to talk to just call me ok?"

She smiled, The Lone Gunman team looked as if they’d lost one of their own. Hell, they had. Mulder was the only other person on the outside of their office that they talked too. "Thank you Frohike. I think I’m going to go home and look at this," she held up the laptop bag, "And then I’m going to call Monica. But don’t worry guys. If I need any of you in the way I needed Fox, I’ll call. Now go home, I’m sure you have a great story waiting on your computers."

They nodded and retreated to their car and drove away. Monica appeared from behind a tree, Dana had known all along that she was there. Monica didn’t like to have people see her weak side, and Dana watched as the tall woman stopped at his grave and dropped to her knee in front of it, a sign of respect. Dana turned and walked slowly to her car. Monica would be here a while and Dana didn’t want to intrude. She would return later.

============

4 weeks later

Hoover Building

X-Files Office

Dana Scully flipped off the coffee machine and aimlessly stirred her cup of coffee. Skinner had called her up the other day to tell her that she would once again be working on the X-Files and under him. He had again expressed his sorrow about Mulder but he had added that she would be receiving a new partner. She had protested but Skinner had made it clear that this guy was going to work with her.

She walked towards her desk and set cup on it. She had taken Mulder desk when she had returned to the basement. Her old desk sat empty and cold, a reminder of what could never be replaced in her heart.

She pulled out her reading glasses and sat in her chair. She had found out the guy’s name from Skinner, Mark Willton, and had the guys at the Lone Gunmen run a check on him. Fox had probably done the same on her those seven years ago. Before she had a chance to open the first X-Files case file she’d had in a while, there was a knock at the door.

"It’s not locked." She called out, keeping her voice very neutral.

The door opened and in stepped a tall blonde man. His hair was very neat and clean and his blue eye’s sparkled. He was shorter then Fox was but not by much. He wore a crisp black suit that just screamed "newbie". He looked as if he’d just stepped out of the Quantico brochure. He had a new black suitcase and his ID badge looked as if it was just taken.

"Dana Scully?" He asked, stepping closer to the desk.

Dana stood and moved past him to the filing cabinet. She quickly flipped through the folder until she pulled out an older one. She turned and handed it to him. He looked at the file in his hand and back at her. "Explain it." Was all she said before returning to her desk. "That desk is yours. Oh, and Willton?"

He looked up at her wide eyed, "How do you know my name?"

"I have my ways. Don’t get in my way." She said sitting down. She watched over the rim of her glasses as the younger agent flipped open the file and scanned over it. He then approached her desk, making her look up.

"Dana, I know what happened in this case, perhaps we can discuss it over dinner?" He said moving to where she sat, "Say eight o’clock, my place?"

Dana was up and had her hand around his neck so fast his head was spinning. She shoved him up against the wall and growled, "Look you little shit. I don’t want you here, I can do this on my own. In fact I should kill you and get it over with. But we have to work together, so I’m laying down the rules. One: don’t ever call me Dana. Two: don’t you ever make a pass at me again. I had no hesitation in shooting my last partner got it?"

"And if she doesn’t hurt you I sure as hell will." Monica said calmly from the doorway where she’d been listening. Dana released the man and returned to her desk. Monica entered the office and closed the door behind her. She then proceeded to sit in the chair that she’d always sat in. "You left a message."

"I want you on this case with me." Dana said handing her the file over Mulder’s desk. Willton made a sound of protest and Dana turned to him and said, "Do you have a problem with that?"

"I know it’s customary for agents to ask for help from other agents but this is our first case." He said, sitting on the desk.

"Agent Crys has had more experience with these cases." Dana turned back to Monica. "Working on anything important?"

Monica flipped over the file and quickly scanned it. "Not this important." She pulled a picture from the folder. "This is a joke right?"

Dana shook her head. "No. It’s so hard to believe that they finally found her isn’t it?"

"Ok, so why are we going up to talk to her? Other then the obvious fact." Monica asked closing the folder and handing it to Willton.

"She is claiming that she knows all about a conspiracy in the government. And that they stole her away from her family and that she had been told she was someone else." Monica lifted an eyebrow. "Skinner wanted to give an easy assignment, he also said to narrow it down to two car chases if possible."

"How could Skinner find this easy?" Willton said.

"Just wait Willton, they get so much harder." Dana said, "Our flight leaves in three hours, go pack and meet us at the airport."

Willton stood for a minute, watching the two women. He then sighed and pick up his briefcase. He turned to Monica and nodded his head, "Nice to meet you." And then strode out of the office.

"Where did Skinner get that guy?" Monica asked, standing from her chair to look the things posted on the large board in the office.

"The academy, Top of his class. Oxford, psychology major." Dana said looking at the pictures of her desk.

Monica turned around, Dana had a look in her eye that said she wasn’t talking about Willton. Monica looked at what Dana was staring at and sighed. It was the one taken on he birthday, not long ago. Fox and Dana had been talking off on the side of the party, they had had their heads leaning on each others and had been talking quietly. So Monica whipped out her camera and snapped a picture. She had given a copy to both Fox and Dana.

"Pick me up alright?" Monica said as she moved towards the door. Dana nodded her answer and Monica made a note to call Dana a little later on.

When Monica left, Dana leaned forward and picked up a picture frame off her desk. It was her favorite by far. Mulder, in blue jeans and a white button up, with sweet smile and a light in his eyes. Her mother had taken it when Fox and herself had gone to visit Maggie last year on mother’s day.

She smiled and put the picture back, she stood, and gathered her coat and bag. She then left the office and drove home. Later on that day she picked up Monica and they met Willton at the airport. The flight to Maine was uneventful and the checked into their motel planning to start the investigation the next morning.

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"Scully!" Dana’s dream screamed at her and she woke, bolting upright in her bed she called out, "Mulder!"

She sat there, breathing as if she’d just run several miles. She had sworn she’d heard Fox’s voice. Fox, when had she started using his first name? Rubbing her eyes she reached for her watch. A sound out in her apartment made her freeze. Footsteps could clearly be heard, so she took her gun off the nightstand and climbed out of bed. She cocked her gun and prepared to step into her living room.

"Who’s there?" she called and when no one answered she called out again, "I’m an armed FBI age-"

"Scully?" She faltered, the voice sounded so much like Mulder’s. "Dana?"

"Mul-Mulder?" She took a deep breath and swung around the corner, gun leveled at the person in her apartment. "Nice trick asshole, but Fox Mulder died about a month ago."

"I’m not dead, but you should be. We buried you this morning." The man in the shadow’s stepped into the light coming from the window.

His hair was messy and tangled and his eyes where red from crying. He wore jeans with a white button up, which had the first three buttons undone, and a loose black jacket. He looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while. One of her hands left the gun and covered her mouth, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

"F-Fo-" she swallowed and opened her mouth again, "Fox?"

"Dana?" he whispered, wide eyed and scared, like a lost little boy.

"But this is impossible, you…you’re dead. We buried you a month ago. I visited your grave before I left…" Her voice trailing off on the last sentence, she looked around. She was home, in her apartment. "I must be dreaming."

"Same here because we buried you just this morning."

"I had left for…Samantha…I found her…but how am I here?" Mulder was staring at her. "You went off on your own and got shot. You couldn’t be saved because would lost to much blood, I saw you in the hospital bed, You made me promise…"

Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that her radio was on. The soft sounds of Sarah McLaclen floated out of her bedroom. She felt as if she were being drawn towards the man in her apartment. His eyes became soft as they gazed on her and she felt her soul take flight. Her lips parted and she softly whispered his name as she stopped inches from his body, afraid that if they touch he would shatter and she would wake from this wonderful dream.

Would ravages of spirit

Conjure this Tempuas rage

Created you a monster

Broken by the rule of Love

And fate has led you through it

You do what you have to do

And fate has led you through

You do what you have to do

His eyes took on a troubled deep brown color that seemed to sift through her soul. She shuddered and he reached out to pull her close, to warm her. It was an automatic reaction he always felt; to protect her at all costs. But the gentle touch of his hand on her shoulder jolted her to him. He wrapped his arms about her trembling body and rested his head in her red hair.

The yearning to be near you

I do what I have to do

The yearning to be with you

I do what I have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize

That I don’t know how to let you go.

I don’t know how to let you go

She closed her eyes and tried to fill her lungs with his deep manly smell, the smell that told her it was safe. She felt the pressure of his head on the top of hers and she smiled as she felt his lips on her hairline. She lifted her head to his and in the dark her lips found his. Her tongue ran across his lip, asking for the permission, and he parted his lips. As they deepened the kiss the radio station began to pump out another song.

Look at me I’m in a place

I never thought I’d be

Don’t have the strength to fight anymore

Or a reason not to leave

So tell me why I keep holding on

To somethin’ I just cannot see

What makes you stay?

When your world falls apart

What makes you try one more time?

When it’s not in your heart

Their lips parted and Dana tucked her head under Fox’s chin. She didn’t care if they were dreaming or if they were being watched. For the first time in her life she needed a man, this man to hold her and tell her that everything would be fine. She didn’t care how weak she looked, she needed this man more then she’s needed anything in her life.

She didn’t even notice the wetness on her cheeks until Fox’s shirt was wet under her face. Fox whispered soft words that she couldn’t hear, nor understand, but they comforted her. She sighed and opened her eyes to gaze at the man she loved.

Then time slowed down, as if someone was playing the tape of this perfect moment in slow motion. The glass from the window behind him shattered and he body jerked violently. Her head shot up, looking at Fox’s face as if gazed down at hers in pain. His body slumped against hers and she sifted her body so she could lay down the tall man.

"fox," she said quietly, trying to make him hang on. "Please."

He smiled up at her, and his eyes drifted closed.

"NO!" She pulled him close to her body, hand covering the gunshot wound. "Please don’t leave me again. I need you. How can I go on without you again?"

She could feel his pulse stop under her fingers and she closed her eyes. She tilted her head back and, after a minute, felt a cool metal on her head. She opened her eyes in time to she a shadow covered man pulled back the trigger of the gun.

====================

"NO!" She jolted out of bed, red hair plastered to her forehead and breathing hard. Her older sister moved from her bed, across the room, to the red heads. The older sisters long black hair in a braid over her shoulder.

"Dana? Whats wrong?"

"Oh Missy, I had a wonderfully horrible dream." The older sister raised an eyebrow at her red head sister, Dana.

"Tell me about it." Missy said, moving more onto the bed and sitting Indian style.

"There was this really cute guy in my apartment. I was a lot older and I think I worked for the police of something. But I had thought he was dead and he had thought I was dead. I loved him but I couldn’t tell him how I felt and…and then we kissed and I was so happy but I was worried because they would separate us-"

"Who’s ‘They’?" Missy asked.

"The people that want to hurt us. And then he was shot and he died and then there was this young looking man…he had short brown hair and an arm that was fake. He killed me…"

"Who was the guy?"

"Which one?" Dana asked.

"The one that you kissed and the one that killed you."

"Alec Krycek was the one that killed me. He didn’t tell me his name but I knew who he was…he worked for Them, the ones who wanted us gone."

"Who was the other guy?" Missy asked, leaning forward.

"He was my partner…at the FBI…Fox…Fox Mulder."

"You know, Dreams tell us about the future. Maybe this Fox guy is the love of your life?" Missy said, tilting her head.

"Maybe." Dana said, starring at her hands.

"I’m going back to bed, Dad is taking us a movie tomorrow." Dana watched her sister for a moment. She had the funny feeling that her sister was in danger but shook it off. Who would want to kill either of them anyway?

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I’m so tired I can’t sleep,

Standin’ on the edge of somethin’ much to deep,

Funny how it feels so much,

But I can not say a word,

Screamin’ on the inside but can not be heard.

And I will remember you,

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by,

We’ve got all the memories.

So afraid to love you,

More afraid to lose,

Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me chose.

Where once there was a darkness,

A deep and endless night,

You gave me everything you had,

Oh, you gave me light.

And I will remember you,

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by,